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About Varied / Hobbyist Member Emilie16/Female/Denmark Recent Activity
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my father also seems to think that I am doing nothing at home, despite doing more that him nearly. I pay for my own clothes, my own things, my own hobbies, birthday presents for people, and all with the 800-900 dkk given to my parents BY THE STATE monthly simply for having children. He keeps saying that when I buy things I am using money given to me by him, but it's like he forgets that they wouldn't even HAVE THAT MONEY if they didn't have children. Those money are given to parents to make sure children can have clothes and pocket money and birthday presents and shit. The only things I don't pay for myself is the toilet paper, the water, and the electricity. And the food. Which I help cook half the time. Which he helps cook 3 times a month. Only reason why I don't help more, is because I go to school more than he works. I leave at half past seven each morning (in a taxi paid for by a fund for people like me, who are autistic and therefore goes to school far away from home, so he can't claim he wastes money driving me to school) and come home at half past three in the evening. He has days where he doesn't even go to work, because of his flex job, because of his multiple sclerosis. and apparently that gives him a right to be some entitled arsehole.

He also claims that he vacuum cleans the living room more often than I do, and yeah, fair deal, since he spends all his time in there. I keep my stuff - including myself - mostly confined in my room, or in my part of the basement workshop room thing. I have all my stuff there, so I clean that place. And that place only. And because of that I am apparently lazy.

Sorry daddy, YOU wanted children. Maybe you should have thought about, I don't know, using a condom? Since I seemingly is just a burden and a waste of money, too slow and lazy, only good when I ignore the fact that you never ever say sorry or thank you. Think about the fact that I never asked to be born. Yeah, it's nice to be here, but don't act like it's my fault for being here. It's your own damned fault.

he also wants me to be a doctor, even though he says he would be satisfied no matter what I do. But he wants me to be a doctor, most likely because he hopes, somewhere in his weird dreams, that I could help find a cure for the damn disease that he keeps using as an excuse. If he used it as a reason for his fuckups, it would be okay. But he uses it as some excuse, some shield from criticism. Well, sad for him. I am not gonna fucking be a doctor. Find someone else to save your sorry ass. I feel sorry for my mother though. Having to see a man she loves turn into this person.

He also really wants me to have children someday. Not because he thinks it would make me happy. But because that is his version of living forever. Because his genes live on and his memory. Sorry, no thanks. First, I have a fucking fear of pregnancy, to the point where I can't be in the room with someone pregnant without nearly fainting. And adoption kinda defies half of his point. So that wouldn't make him happy. Second, passing on my set of genes to a child, NOPE. that child will be predisposed to several autoimmune diseases, several mental diseases (depression, anxiety and possible schizophrenia), and will nearly 100% be autisic. Given my own experince with the last point, no thanks. I don't regret being who I have become, but throwing that in the face of some poor child? No. And adoption defies the point. Also, I will probably never even want to have children.
But yeah, my dad? He didn't want a daughter as much as he wanted a dynasty.


I will never even understand parents, who raise their child to be someone they can be proud of. You should raise a child so that they will be proud of themselves.









he is a good man half of the time. The part of him that I can still call my father. But with time, I see more and more of the parts that I despise, fear, or feel total indifference towards. And in reality, it is not because those parts are more present now. It is because I have learned to see them. I used to believe it when he said that "I only do this because I love you" when he yelled at me for being slow or lazy or hysterical. And yes, I think he loves me, but not as a person. No, he loves me as that little object he created, the object that has some flaws that need to be chopped off. When a puppy barks or whines for attention, you ignore it until it learns to be silent as the pretty toy it is. When it chews on the books you left it alone with for five hours out of boredom and loneliness, you yell at it until it accepts being put aside like the cute toy it is. All because you love it.

Love can be such a disgusting thing.

Journal History

deviantID

VampireNyan
Emilie
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Denmark
Too many things -stamp- by ShantellaLiving is Life-Threatening by AliuhHalloween Stamp! by OwlEggNorthern Lights Stamp by sakumoonWhen all else fails... by Drusila333Spread The Llama Love Badge by other-coversProud Pixel Artist - Stamp by r0se-designsStamp Template by LunaDoraHurts by HappyStampStamp: Chocolate by Roxy317Coldplay stamp by HappyStampMy Voice Sounds Better Stamp by mylastelSo Many Books by LaPurrstamp - don't judge a book... by Daeg-NihtWriter Working Stamp by Mirz123I rather be... stamp by MiiSanDont steal my art by Wolven-SisterI Love The Rain by WearwolfaaGirl-Gamer Stamp by BowChickaBowWowI Support Imagination stamp by c3ph31dI Suck at Drawing Backgrounds by MelissaDaltonExtinction Stamp by Kezzi-RoseMarshmallow Stamp by Kezzi-Roseit mocks me by ajCorzanocturnal artist eh... by AxiasAlexaWishful Thinking by whispwillJedi Feeling Stamp by AcidaliaAdrasteiaIn need of life by prosaixHeart-warming llamas by prosaixKute kittens by prosaixChocoholic by prosaixI support ignoring by prosaixOm nom nom nails by prosaixAnother apocalypse... by prosaixGTFO beggars by prosaixNo thnx 4 v fave plz by prosaixNot allowed by pjukI Hate School by Davidgtza2Bulletproof Vest Stamp by mylastelEvanescence Stamp by BerryFlavoredApplesWithin Temptation stamp by purgatoriklgaslghkf by KawikuOMG- Oh my growth by prosaix:thumb198658425:Original Characters Stamp by Stamp221Look funny by Claire-stampsI Talk to Myself Stamp by Latias-FlyerStamp: Zombie Apocalypse by ChibiZexion-VIStamp: Play with Fire by ChibiZexion-VISlow interwebz - Old version by prosaixReal life... by prosaixNight owl by prosaixThe power of flight by prosaixNothing by Mr-StampSuperpowers by prosaixMental Wi-Fi by prosaixMore time... by prosaixI wanna move things with my mind by prosaixBeing popular by prosaixJust Fav It by lostforeveragainNinja Stamp by littlemisssunshine11I love Birds of Prey by WishmasterAlchemistLoose Lips Stamp by Mirz123teddy stamp by findyQI Leik Shiny Stamp by VyporSTAMP: Glasses by EmotikonzGreat Responsibility Stamp by Mirz123Dads Rule Stamp by Mirz123Pen + Paper Stamp by Mirz123Rainbow Tears Stamp by Mirz123Moms Rock Stamp by Mirz123Night Owl Stamp + PLZ by Mirz123I Love Mexican Food Stamp by Mirz123Nyan Cat Stamp by arti22Oops... by SsGirlostamp: fursonas arnt furries by DelayniFreaking Airport Stamp by chibi22LLAMA 4 LLAMA by puddingcup303Bad Mood Stamps Smiling by stamps-clubI Heart Ghosts Stamp by bizarrostampsLike Clouds Stamp by mylastelfast and slow stamps by Rainbow-FluffyWhy are stamps squares? by Magix39stamps are for... by ba6ooyLlama Protector Stamp by SailorSolarolder by krissimonsta"This is not a stamp" stamp by mighterbumpLlama Badges by eggyNot a Little Girl Anymore by mylastelFear a Human Alive by mylastelSuicide Pop Quiz READ DESC by impersonalinfoCupcakes by HappyStampAlways Return Llamas by tRiBaLmArKiNgSNo messages? Stamp by Timesplitter92Nocturnal Artist by Timesplitter92Loading... Psyche by stuck-in-suburbiaDoodleing On Schoolwork Stamp by personqwerTroll - Cyber Bully Stamp by Mirz123Give a Llama, Get a Llama by mushirRandom Acts of Llama by Kawaii-Demonic-ThingStamp - The Host by shadowed-light-waves
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:iconsabinoir:
SabiNoir Featured By Owner 10 hours ago
Thanks for the fav! Meow :3
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:iconpazlowq:
pazlowq Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014   Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday!
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(1 Reply)
:iconadagiobunny:
Adagiobunny Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014  Student Writer
happy birthday, dear! :heart: :party: :heart: hope it's a good one! :D
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(1 Reply)
:iconmetorus:
Metorus Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014
Lilly PNG 05 by Thy-Darkest-Hour Happy Birthday, Emilie !   :aww:
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(1 Reply)
:iconlei-ren:
Lei-Ren Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2014  Hobbyist
Thanks for the fav! :happybounce: 
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:iconkivutar:
Kivutar Featured By Owner May 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the fave. c:
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:iconwhoareyou1978:
WhoAreYou1978 Featured By Owner May 22, 2014
Thanks for your fav dear friend  :hug:
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(1 Reply)
:iconmarat86:
Marat86 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for Faving! :D
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:iconthegentlemancupcake:
TheGentlemanCupcake Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
YEY! OMGsqueeeee.... 
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:iconwhoareyou1978:
WhoAreYou1978 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2014
Thanks for more favs :hug:
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:iconwhoareyou1978:
WhoAreYou1978 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013
Thanks. For your favs,  hope your ok ,,, :hug:
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:iconsaniakhanphotography:
saniakhanphotography Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
thank you so much for the support!!!
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:icongrumpycatnoplz:
grumpycatnoplz Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013
I got a watcher once. It was awful ಠ へ ಠ 
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:iconthegentlemancupcake:
TheGentlemanCupcake Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yeeey for da fav!
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:iconwhoareyou1978:
WhoAreYou1978 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2013
Thanks for your favs :hug:
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:iconemiliewolf:
Emiliewolf Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2013  Student Artist
yay thanks for le add :3
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:iconthegentlemancupcake:
TheGentlemanCupcake Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
le thankz for ze favz :3 it'z da kitty cat feaver!
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:iconwhoareyou1978:
WhoAreYou1978 Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013
Thanks for your favs :hug:
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(1 Reply)
:iconthegentlemancupcake:
TheGentlemanCupcake Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for adding fire upon the water and companionship do da digital artz :3
eiz muchly appreciated!
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(1 Reply)
:iconthegentlemancupcake:
TheGentlemanCupcake Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yarr!:pirateattack 
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:iconwhoareyou1978:
WhoAreYou1978 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013
Thanks for your favs :hug:
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:iconxxdearoblivionxx:
xxDearOblivionxx Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
Thank you for adding Gross Anatomy to your collection...sorry it took so long to get back to you, it's been a crazy couple of months. <3
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(1 Reply)
:iconnoralora:
noralora Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013  Student General Artist
Thanks for the Llama!
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(1 Reply)
:iconmel--mel:
mel--mel Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
cheers for the faves!!
your gallery is actually wonderful!! =D
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(1 Reply)
:iconmetorus:
Metorus Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013
:iconthankyouplz4: Happy Birthday, Emilie !! :iconhappybirthdaycakeplz:
:iconbummy1: :iconwhiteroseplz: :iconbummy2: :iconwhiteroseplz: :iconbummy3:
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